In the Academy Award-winning movie “CODA,” the Deaf characters don’t use their voices to speak. Some hearing viewers will probably see this as a negative thing; they may imagine the silence, and wonder how it would feel to not speak, even as they see American Sign Language (ASL) used abundantly and well.

However, I’m Deaf and have “perfect” speech (meaning I don’t “sound Deaf”). And I want to stop speaking.

Everywhere I go, people compliment me and say they wouldn’t have known I was Deaf if I hadn’t told them. They say it kindly, but it’s like they’re giving me a cupcake without realizing there’s a razor blade inside it.

Here’s what they don’t understand: Their compliment is an insult to my many Deaf friends who cannot — or do not — speak and who are some of the best, most accomplished, funniest, wisest people I know. It’s also an insult to me, since there’s an implicit message that not knowing I’m Deaf is good; therefore, being Deaf is not good.

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